8.17.2017


There are so many reasons to feel inadequate - but why not choose to feel beautiful? 





Wearing //
Express skirt (old) but similar here
Sole Society heels, similar here & love these
Beauty //



That's the question that's been dancing around in my head lately. I'm not sure you've noticed but I haven't had the desire to blog much recently.  I don't want to make excuses as to why, but I do want to be honest about it. I could say that I've been busy or that Summer is the perfect time to take a break, but those aren't exactly true. 

I haven't felt like putting myself together because I've been feeling pretty insecure. Not just for blog pictures but in my daily life as well. Self-doubt has crept in again and I have been hesitating on every decision I've been making, even trivial things like "what should I wear?" 

A lot of the clothes that used to spark joy last Summer no longer fit me anymore due to weight gain. Because I've been somewhat uninspired with the current trends, I have been looking back on my own archives to gather ideas. Even though I still own many of the pieces I used to love wearing, I can't put them on because they don't fit. It's so frustrating. When I started this blog, I was a size 4. Now I'm a size 8. And there's nothing wrong with that! Eight years later and my body has changed. I mean, it happens! It's just a number. But when I'm worried about certain angles or what the internet will think of my body, taking blog photos is more of a hassle and less about showing my style. 

Case in point, these photos. I almost wasn't going to post them because I wasn't feeling particularly pretty that day. I let my hair air-dry into a frizzy ball, I had a pimple forming on my chin, and there were a group of teenage boys laughing while Nate snapped away. Normally I don't let those things bother me, but I did. After reviewing these on the camera, I ended the day on a bad note and my mood was ruined for the night. Poor Nate. I know it's frustrating for him too. He just wanted to have a nice evening with his wife but my insecurities over pictures put a damper on things. 

Then I asked myself, why do I continue to do this? Am I going to let negative self-talk interrupt a hobby I love?

The answer is NO. I love fashion and clothes and beauty products and regardless of whether or not I blog, I would continue to love these things so why not just share them with you? Can't it just be that simple?

 Why not just choose to feel beautiful? There's always going to be a reason to not feel good enough. As a woman, I'm always going to struggle to not pass judgement on myself. 

 I feel beautiful when I spend time with a dear friend, when I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe, when I compliment a perfect stranger. I can choose to live in my shortcomings, or I can work on them while still choosing to see the good things in myself. That's the plan anyway...

What makes you feel beautiful? Thank you for listening! I mean, reading 💗

11 comments:

  1. You look so pretty here and love this location for pictures. The light is so soft. We have to constantly work on not listening to that critical voice in our heads.

    xo
    Pinksole

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  2. Gosh, I was looking at these pictures thinking how beautiful they are and was shocked that you were feeling insecure about them! I have to agree with Rachelle....the lighting and location are on point, as is your outfit. And you look simply radiant! I'm glad you overcame those critical voices and were able to share these pictures!
    Gina || On the Daily Express

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  3. You look great and this outfit is so cute. The background is amazing! (And air dried hair is a must for summertime)

    I have battled insecurities personally and I go back and forth between I hate my stomach and I had two kids screw it. It's definitely something I have to be very mindful of having two girls. Life is too short! Thanks for posting something so vulnerable.

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  4. There are days I struggle with self confidence, particularly about the way I look. But I try to take a few extra minutes with primping, using my favorite perfume and lotion or trying a new makeup to help me feel more special. I wish my air dried hair looked like that. Mine seriously looks like a lion's mane. I think you look beautiful here!

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  5. Thanks for sharing this post...I think mostly everyone can relate to not feeling confident with themselves but you're 100% right about not letting your feelings hold you back from doing what you love! And I know it's been said before but I'll say it again, we're our own worst critics. To me you look so lovely and your vulnerability is so refreshing and real. I read your blog because of the person you are and the content you create...it's unique and beautiful and insightful. So keep on keepin'on!

    Hugs, Lisa
    @LittleMama71

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  6. Noelle, I feel like I am reading my own thoughts that I am not brave enough to post myself. There is something just so unsettling about putting on something you loved and wore a year ago only to find that it doesn't fit quite right anymore, and then the insecurities just snowball from there. We feel so much pressure as style bloggers to post only the flawless, like we must have stepped off a magazine shoot, when I never felt that way when I started. I posted all my missteps and frizzy hair days and went on to the next day not feeling upset about it. Now I cringe when a piece of hair looks out of place and put pressure on myself to be something I'm not - flawless. I fear we are becoming so busy trying to sell something that we are losing ourselves.
    I appreciate your new mindset, and hope you are able to carry that with you. and for what it's worth, I love this outfit, and would probably not have noticed any frizz if you hadn't mentioned it.
    http://www.iamchiconthecheap.com/

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  7. OH girl we need to chat. I feel the exact same thing right now. Like I never have liked how I look in the summer because the summer style is just not ME and it's so effing hard because I feel like a blob of fat. Basically, I also really struggle with body image in the summer which translates to less talking!


    The Adored Life

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  8. Noelle, I hear you and have felt every single bit of this. I have gone from size 4 to size 10 and back and forth more than once. I have scolded and criticized myself, felt ashamed, wept over the size of my body and spent some years literally dreading entering my closet but not willing to buy clothes in my "new" size. I've literally been a miserable wreck who wanted nothing but to isolate myself and be alone. I'll never forget being this person because a piece of her is always going to live in me.

    I love hearing you say... I can work on them while still choosing to see the good things in myself...

    I think this puts you back in your power. It's being self compassionate and knowing that while you may want to change some things, there are plenty of good and beautiful things about you that deserve acknowledgement as well.

    These genuine posts Noelle are what connect you to your readers. When you show up just as you are and share a vulnerable time that is one of the things that makes you beautiful!

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  9. Noelle - tried to comment earlier but my phone ate my comment ughhh...anyway, just wanted chime in and say, with all honesty, you are my favourite blogger. Not only because I think you are always put together and have the most amazing feminin pieces, but also because you have this beauty that you don't seem to be aware of. You are beautiful and humble, so that makes you even more attractive in my eyes. And eve more important than all that, you have a beautiful soul.

    It's a weird coincident that my daughter was just gifted a book and I just finished reading it to her before she went to bed. It's called "Mommy, am I beautiful?" In the book the mom explains to her daughter that the true beauty comes from her actions. And it actually got me teared up because at the end of the day, it is more about the person we are than what we look like. It's a simple children book and but tells it as is.

    I was lucky to be raised by a mom that continually told me I was beautiful and kind so I'd say I'm very confident in my own skin 90% of the time. But I have my days where I focus on imperfections on my body specifically. Then I remind myself that this is the body I have, it's a healthy body, it's a strong one, it brought a human into this world and I should appreciate it.

    Hugs to you sweetie <3 if you ever need to, you can message me :)

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  10. I always love reading your posts and hearing your real life thoughts, positive or negative! We are definitely our own worst critics and I echo the comments here that I think you look beautiful in these photos and I would never have sensed your insecurity! Ever!
    Caryl | http://morepiecesofme.com

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  11. Thanks for considering me when you have trouble with our photo shoots- but really take it easy on yourself hun! Life is tough enough as it is let alone putting yourself in front of the world for potential criticism XOXO

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