California Love

I've recently come across some absolutely beautiful sentiments from writers who are aching for their communities, cities, and states during the coronavirus pandemic. Krystal from This Time Tomorrow dedicated a post to New York City, and as tears welled up in my eyes from her poignant words, I knew that I wanted to do the same for the state I call home. Having been born in Los Angeles, and my dad's side of the family having deep roots in the San Fernando valley, I know that I've taken this place for granted. It's easy to do. You become spoiled. You get caught up in your everyday life and you forget how good you have it. The palm trees, the ocean, the sunsets - they all become routine and fade away into the background.

My mom and I moved to a small town called Temecula in 1988. L.A. with all of its hustle, bustle, and traffic had become too much for her, and she wanted to raise me in the simplicity of a quiet neighborhood. My dad stayed behind working in Reseda, but he drove down every weekend to see us. I remember that drive. Back then, it only took an hour and a half to make your way down the valley through parts of Orange County, and then you'd start seeing more greenery, less cars and people. Finally, there was Temecula cascading into sight. 108 miles separated us, but it felt like worlds apart.

I didn't leave much when I was growing up. I went back and forth between L.A. and Temecula, but it wasn't until my late teens that I really started exploring California and all it has to offer. And it has so much to offer...


The Pacific Ocean: my sanctuary when life feels too blurry or confusing. One deep breath of salty air and it gives me the courage to keep paddling, a not-so-subtle reminder that "sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true direction." Whether it's calm or choppy, low or high tide, it is constantly shifting.

Big Sur, California

Carlsbad, California

The Mountains: a welcome escape, especially during warm California Winters when you crave some snow like the rest of the country. The winding roads lead off into little secert lookouts and hideaways, each one more scenic than the last. Finally when you get to the top, snow and ice covering the pines below, you realize just how far you have come.

Big Bear, California

The Desert: my husband's personal favorite, so much so that he turned his inspiration for it into a business. So many people love getting away and riding their dirt bikes and off-road vehicles along the sandy, rocky hilltops. I mostly like to watch, being the risk-averse person that I am. But they say "the desert is truth, life pared down to the bone."

Ocotillo Wells, California

The Valley: those hidden gems, tucked between hillsides and mountain ranges. I've been up to Paso Robles, a beautiful place with even better wineries. I have yet to go to famous Napa, probably first on my next "must-see" list. But Temecula is where I was raised. It's familiar, it's the comfort of knowing someone or something so well. And now as an adult, I can appreciate its imperfect beauty while sipping on my favorite local wine. 

Temecula, California

Everything In-Between: From San Francisco to Pismo Beach, Santa Barbara to Laguna, I can absolutely vouch for the special qualities that make each area of this large state so unique. I haven't been all the way up north since 2014, but I can't wait to go on another long road trip and explore even more. Each time, there is something new to see or a detail you missed before.

Palm Springs, California

Long Beach, California

San Diego, California

Dear Cali,
From the mountains to the sea, I'm in love with your vast diverse beauty, and the 40 million people who also call you home undoubtedly agree. I've thought about leaving, what it would be like to live somewhere else, but we both know I could never leave you. There's a reason why travelers come from all over the world just to get a glimpse of you. Some never leave, holding on to a hope that you will help make their wildest dreams come true. You are one of a kind, California. And you have my whole heart.
Sincerely,
A California girl

I cannot wait to get back to the places I know and love most, in a state that has shaped me into who I am.

Continue the post

Flattering Dress Silhouettes for Petites

Like many of you, I'm growing tired of leggings and sweat pants day in and day out. Spring is my favorite season to dress for, but obviously with the current public health pandemic, everything has been put on hold. In the spirit of Spring, I wanted to put together a quick round-up on the dress silhouettes I find most flattering for petite women. We should all wear what makes us feel confident and beautiful, but there are some definite styles that work especially well on ladies 5'4 and under.


#1 Fit and Flare: This is my most worn silhouette, and the one I personally feel the most comfortable wearing. It emphasizes the upper body, creates the illusion of a smaller waist, and then skims away from the lower body like an hourglass. It's an ultra feminine look that is universally flattering no matter your body type.

#2 Midi: This particular silhouette used to scare me away because it does seem antithetical to elongating a shorter frame. However, I actually love midi styles on petite women! I often hear petites saying that they can't wear a midi or maxi dress because it makes them appear even shorter, but there are a few details to keep in mind. First, I favor one in a solid color as opposed to a busy print. Second, although they are whimsical and gorgeous, I prefer midis that don't have big ruffles, long sleeves, or excessive amounts of extra fabric. Last, I love layering a shorter jacket on top that breaks up the proportions a bit.

#3 Wrap or Faux Wrap: Similar to a fit and flare style, wrap or faux wrap dresses are universally flattering because they create an hourglass shape. They drape nicely over the body and cinch in the waist, so they are perfectly slimming. A V-neckline also adds to the effect. Whether you're curvy or straight, this style will make you look and feel polished.

#4 BodyCon: I'm curvy on the lower half, so my instinct is to steer clear from anything form fitting. However, I was pleasantly surprised a couple years ago when I discovered this now blogger favorite bodycon dress. The ruching throughout the waist helps conceal a not-so-flat stomach while also cinching the waist at its smallest area. The tulip hem comes to right above the knees, elongating the legs. I love wearing mine with a light, airy kimono during the Summer months. If you're curvy, this can still feel like a tricky style to pull off, but hey. There's nothing wrong with flaunting those curves! And if you'd like the illusion of extra curves, this style helps to do just that.

I have no idea when things will get back to normal, but I'll be wearing all of these dresses no matter what! What are your go-to dresses? I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Continue the post

My Low Maintenance Hair Routine

When it comes to hair, I'm all about low maintenance. It's not necessarily because I don't have the time or desire to do more, it's because I don't have the patience. Like all of my beauty routines, I prefer a simple, more natural style. I want to enhance what I like, conceal what I don't, and above all I want to look and feel my best. Beauty doesn't have to be complicated - in fact, it really shouldn't be.

A hair routine does involve some trial and error. It's taken me years to figure out what types of products I like, what I'm willing to budget for, areas where I can cut costs and corners, and a hair stylist that really knows my preferences. It wasn't always this easy; I've tried so many different brands both from the drugstore and higher end. You have to figure out what you're really aiming for and you have to be realistic. I'm a naturally dark brunette, so going platinum blonde or even a honey blonde just isn't in the cards for me. I could try, but I'd ruin my hair and that's the last thing I'd want! So I stick with my brown locks, try my best to work with my natural wavy, frizzy texture and I focus on adding lots of moisture and shine. I do have some lighter balayage at the crown, but I do very little color treating and am planning on going a bit darker again. I also trim my hair every few weeks to get rid of any dead ends. I had to cancel my appointment right before the quarantine began so it's not in the best shape at the moment! Once it's safer to leave home, I'm hoping to get in to see my stylist for a refresh.

Until then, this is my low fuss routine. It won't work for everyone or every hair type, but I hope some of you find the tips useful.

My hair type: each strand is fine, but I have a lot of it. It is naturally wavy and very frizz prone.

1) Shampoo every three days or twice per week. 
I currently use a shampoo called Clear but I believe it's being totally discontinued. I used to buy it at the drugstore, but can barely find it online. Are any of you familiar with it? Heidi Klum was the spokesperson ages ago. The idea is that good hair begins at the scalp and I am a huge advocate for that. My scalp tends to get very dry, so I focus on its health every time I wash. Unfortunately I also have oily hair, so that's a winning combination. Shampooing every three days seems to be the lucky number for me.

2) Use a scalp scrub or mask twice a month.
I've written about this scalp therapy here, and I've noticed a difference. My scalp is less itchy, less flaking occurs, and less congested. Remember, your scalp is still skin! It can get clogged and irritated just as your face can.

3) Deep condition once a week. 
A nourishing deep conditioning treatment is vital to maintaining healthy hair. I usually leave mine on while I shave and cleanse my body so it can really work its magic...the longer it stays on the better. I also use an overnight mask when my ends are especially brittle, then wash and rinse it out the following day.

4) Air dry when possible. Otherwise, limit heat styling.
Now that many of us are staying home, why not give the heat styling a rest? I've completely taken a break from straightening and curling. I can't quite give up the blow dryer, but I use a low heat setting and then seal the ends with a blast from the cool button.

5) Don't overdo dry shampoo.
It's tempting to slap on the dry shampoo when you want an extra day to avoid washing it, but dry shampoos cause so much buildup. My hair stylist has told me some truly disgusting horror stories! I won't share here, but let's just say she's seen an increase in awful scalp issues over the last couple years because dry shampoo has skyrocketed in popularity. Now there's nothing wrong with it per se and we all want to simplify our daily hair routines by washing it less. Just be careful of how frequently and how much you're using.

6) Limit the amount of styling products you use. 
Less is more. Piling on different products to achieve certain results seems like a great idea, but it all can end up doing more harm than good. I know that my hair looks weighed down very easily, so I use a leave-in conditioner while my hair is damp, then follow up with an anti-humidity/shine spray once it's all dry. You really don't need more than two or three products max, and a little goes a long way. It also cuts down on cost. I can't afford to be buying Oribe or Ouai every other month.


What's your daily or weekly hair routine? Do you like to experiment with yours, or are you low maintenance? If you're someone who loves playing with trends and color, how do you care for your hair? I could talk about it all day!

Continue the post

Cozy Stay at Home Style

*Quick editor's note: I will not be using affiliate links for the next month or so. I personally am not concerned with shopping for unnecessary items during a crisis, and I'm sure most of you aren't either. Besides, I suspect you already own similar things! I will still list where they came from, but for now I'm taking a pause. Things will go back to normal with regular links after this extended period.

I'm usually very particular about the clothing I feature on my blog. I can't explain why, because what you see here is what you'll see if you know me in real life too (although a little editing helps). I just try to be thoughtful about my choices so that I can hopefully provide you with ideas you can incorporate into your own wardrobe. I love mixing brands, showing you ways to style everyday basics, and featuring pieces that are polished, fun, and flattering. So when I think of dressing to either lounge around in or work from home, that's just not something I'm familiar sharing with you! To me, indoor or home outfits equal comfort. Home has always been my sanctuary, the one place where I can be totally relaxed and myself. I don't worry about wearing lots of makeup, doing my hair everyday or putting on jewelry. I used to consider it freeing! But after being at home for several days and weeks during California's mandatory shelter in place order, I'll admit that I can't wait to put on a dress and heels again. I'll never take it for granted.

In the meantime, these are the type of outfits I'm living in. I would say lately, but we have no clear idea how long remaining at home will last. All of these looks are extremely comfortable, cozy, and dare I say...appropriate for Zoom meetings and FaceTime? At least two are!

Nectar Clothing striped top, LOFT belted knit wrap, Hue leggings

Express one eleven tee, Old Navy joggers

Barefoot Dreams cardigan, Revolve camisole, Hue leggings

Beauty:
Since I was in desperate need of a pedicure last week, I dug back into my favorite Spring nail polishes and picked a cheerful, happy pink. This color is by Essie and it's called "Cascade Cool." I don't have any top coat at the moment, but a quick spray of this rapid dry solution did the trick and even added some shine. My friend Kristi kindly sent it to me all the way from Oregon a couple years back, but because I was so addicted to gels, it was neglected until now! Honestly, anything bright and pink is what I'm reaching for beauty-wise this month. Pink nails, pink blush, and of course a pink pout. I bought this Charlotte Tilbury gloss at the end of February and it's all I've worn since. It's in the shade "Pillow Talk." I'm such a fan of this color as it's incredibly wearable.

I've long believed that style is an extension of who you are, a way to send a message to the outside world. In times like these when we are so isolated, it can often feel pointless or even wrong to bother. Some days, I don't bother. But on the days when I do, there's this little inkling of hope that sometime soon I can once again express myself in the way that makes me happiest - back in a flowy dress against the backdrop of my favorite wineries in town.

Continue the post

Simple Ways I'm Coping Daily During Quarantine

I know our daily lives aren't exactly the same during this quarantine. It's vital that we come together in solidarity and do our best to flatten the curve, but we all have varying degrees of responsibility and pressure. My days don't involve distance learning, tending to an infant, or managing a company with employees. So while the things I'm doing to cope with our current time is helping me get through my days, I don't want to be patronizing to those of you with much larger responsibilities and less free time. I do however hope you can use at least one of these! They aren't terribly unique, but they're alleviating some stress. Just a few minutes a day to decompress can do wonders.

Candles: I'm a huge fan of lighting candles, now more than ever. Their soft glow provides tranquility, and the scent either boosts or relaxes my mood. I don't hoard them, but I do normally have two or three on hand. This candle has been in our coffee table drawer for months, and I just began burning it again. Bonus that it's lavender scented!

Lavender: Speaking of lavender, I also have a small batch of dried lavender that i like to keep on my vanity or nightstand. When I need a dose of calm, I take a deep breath and inhale the scent. Some people don't care for the smell, but I've always been a huge believer in its calming properties. I also have a vial of essential lavender oil that I put on my wrist at night. Pillow sprays, soaps, and perfumes are all great to have on hand.

Face creams/treatments/serums: I've been keeping my creams in the fridge and using them at night before bed. The cooling sensation is amazing, and it instantly relaxes me. I also have a facial roller that I've been using and it feels so good in the moment. I've even been using it down my neck to ease tension.

Tea: I love tea, but I'm definitely drinking it more often now. I haven't had coffee in two weeks! My blood pressure has been high (undoubtedly because of anxiety) so I'm mitigating that by not having any caffeine and am also greatly limiting my alcohol intake. As much as I love a cocktail or glass of wine, drinking regularly makes anxiety worse. I love lemon balm tea, so I have a cup before bedtime. Any caffeine-free tea is helpful, or teas that boost your immune system.

Being creative: Arts and crafts, drawing, sewing, writing, painting, reading...you name it! Some of my friends are doing crafts with their kids, some are doing puzzles. My dear friend started a bible study that I'm included in. All of these things allow us to channel our energy into something positive. Besides, you never know! You may discover a new talent or passion.

Did I miss something that I could add to my coping list? What are you doing to ease stress during quarantine?

Continue the post

The Monthly Edit // Mar. 2020 & Coming Clean

I didn't intend to go a whole week without saying hello. Every time I sat down to write a post, I couldn't find the right words much less string together complete sentences. I've always enjoyed writing, but it's been so difficult to do lately.

I know we are all struggling in this current coronavirus pandemic. Every aspect of life has changed overnight, and there's no real endpoint yet. Uncertainty, stress, restlessness, isolation. As I sit here looking out the window of my little office, the sunlight streaming in, I can only imagine what others are going through. I've talked to some friends that are handling it pretty well and taking things day by day, others are not. I guess I'd fall under the category of "not." I'm not okay. There, I said it. My panic attacks are back like never before.

Let me just say though that I'm not telling you this to gain sympathy. I'm not on the front lines like health care professionals, delivery drivers, postal workers, grocery store clerks, pharmacists, and others who are still required to be out in the field. I'm eternally grateful to these everyday heroes. Parents are also included.  They are working harder than ever before to meet the demands of homeschooling, daycare, and working from home on top of everything else.

I've wasted the last couple years feeling lost, weighed down by petty thoughts, bouts of depression and feeling sorry for myself, doubting my choices, and really just existing instead of truly being present. I've been asleep at the wheel, and this crisis has jolted me awake. Yes there's been a lot of happy moments - 2019 was a fun year for us. Trips to different states, parties and celebrations with friends, tiny sparks of light during my down days. But in general, I have neglected so many things that have needed my attention.

*Spending most afternoons in my loft. It's coming along*

I'm not sure I've written about this before, but I suffered from debilitating panic attacks as a kid. No one is entirely sure what prompted them, but it was incredibly frightening to be so young and not know what was happening to me. The anxiety started in preschool. Screaming for my mother to not leave me at school is my earliest memory. My parents did what they could, but they had no idea what was wrong with their only child and neither did anyone else, even doctors. I began seeing a therapist in grade school, and that took me on a path of relief so that I could try my best to just be a normal kid. It was a roller coaster from there on, but the panic attacks subsided once I approached high school. I had other things on my mind then.

Panic attacks, health anxiety (hypochondria), vivid nightmares, and financial worries have all taken up space in my head. I should have seen it coming, I should have known that I was headed on a spiral. I was naive and thought I could control it. I would just laugh my way through this, reconnect with family, do Facetime calls with friends over a drink, spend quality time with Nate. Don't get me wrong, I have and still am doing all these things and I'm very grateful for modern technology, modern medicine, all of it. I'm thankful for the roof over my head, food in my fridge (although I've lost 6 pounds in a week because I can barely eat), a loving partner that is doing all he possibly can to console me. Some days it feels like I'm a child again, helpless in so many ways, and he's the only parent. It's so frustrating. I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I've worked with other children to help them cope with their fears and anxieties and now I've become the client that needs help.

Fortunately, I've been in recent contact with my therapist and she provided me with some tools I can utilize. They include:

1) Stick to a semi-normal schedule. Try to wake up at the same time each day and go to bed at the same time every night.

2) Get 30 minutes of exercise daily. If you can get outside for a few minutes that's ideal.

3) Connect with others as often as possible, but DO NOT let this virus be the main talking point of conversation. Talk about future plans, something you're looking forward to after this is over, share funny stories, laugh together.

4) Limit all news and social media. Twitter was what triggered me last week. I deleted it off my phone a few days ago. This was hard for me because I want to be informed, and of course we should be. But getting minute by minute updates and reading some of the petty bullshit that is Twitter-verse is unhelpful for people with mental health issues. It only aggravates them.

5) During a panic attack, use your 5 senses: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste. Also: take a pen and paper and write out all the things you can think of under a particular category. For example, 90's television shows, go! List all you can think of. Pick any category that comes to mind immediately. Distraction is key when you're really in the irrationality of a panic attack. I picture myself with a sword, slaying mine.


I'm going to do a phone call with her once a week, so if I can relay anymore tips to you I will in upcoming posts.

I don't want to focus my entire blog on this pandemic, and I don't want to trigger any of your own anxieties by talking so much about mine. Although it helps to talk about them and read about what other people are going through, I also appreciate a break from it all. My next couple posts won't be so serious, I promise! But please don't hesitate to reach out to me or anyone else in your life to help alleviate some of these horrible thoughts and emotions. Your health and mental health matter more now than ever. Sending you my love. 

Continue the post