Monday, April 24, 2017




I've been blogging for eight years, and fortunately, my experience has been very positive. My blog is small, so I've never had to deal with any real scrutiny or negative comments the way popular bloggers have. However, I'm of the mindset that if you put yourself out there for all to potentially see, you can't expect everyone to like you. Not everyone is going to fawn over every outfit you post, the way you do your hair and makeup, or even the things you choose to write about. The same goes for meeting people in real life. You may have an irritating co-worker that just rubs you the wrong way. or an acquaintance that gets on your last nerve. Why do we expect the internet to be any different?

I personally have never understood the aspect of fashion or beauty blogging where it appears as if only positive feedback is accepted. Yes there is a difference between constructive criticism, such as "that top isn't the most flattering untucked" versus "you look fat." I wouldn't dream of  saying something like that to anyone in person, and I wouldn't say it on social media either. But, differing opinions can be helpful and even essential to building a good rapport with the people that take time out of their days to stop by and read whatever you have to say. It equals growth. If you treat blogging like a business, wouldn't you want your customers to be happy? As long as it's not mean-spirited, I just don't see the problem.



I used to cringe whenever I got an anonymous comment because I immediately assumed it was going to be rude. But most of the time, it wasn't rude at all. The only instance I'll delete a comment on my blog is if it's clearly spam (these usually involve adult services if you catch my drift). But otherwise, what someone writes is what stays on this space. I've noticed a huge uptick over the last two years where people are monitoring their comments to the point where it's ridiculous, and I wonder what truly motivates them to even have a blog. If it's only to solicit your readers to worship at your feet and tell you how beautiful and amazing you are, then I'm not sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Unless you fancy yourself an expert in something, why not let people have their say? I would much rather have meaningful discussions, even about trivial topics like lipstick shades and why you think off-the-shoulder tops suck than have you just tell me how cute I look. I mean that's very sweet and we all like being complimented, but I've looked at some of my archives and Lord did I make some bad choices.

Interaction is my favorite part of blogging, and I feel like that's really lacking these days. So go ahead and tell me you disagree, and I won't take offense or delete your comment. Let's talk! And for the record, I love anonymous. Keep it real.


15 comments:

  1. Interaction is my favorite part of blogging as well and I've always accepted that I will not be everyone's cup of tea. I cringe at some of my outfits lol, but really don't we all. Even some of my favorite top bloggers I've worn things that made me think WTF lol.

    xo
    Pinksole

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    1. LOL I agree with some of my favorite bloggers having a "bad outfit" day! We are only human after all!

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  2. What an interesting post! It's true we can't be all things to all people, but the line for constructive criticism vs. insults is very thin. Unless a blogger specifically asks for that feedback I'm not inclined to give it. I'd rather just focus on the positive things about the people I interact with, and not spend my time on the people whose style (whether outfits, personality, social media sharing, etc.) doesn't suit me.
    Gina || On the Daily Express

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    1. Thank you Gina, this post seems kind of random but I wrote it after a certain top blogger deleted comments on her post that offered very constructive criticism and were not even acknowledged. I thought that was really rude and immediately unfollowed. I agree that this community should be light hearted and positive, but I do think it's okay to give honest feedback.

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  3. Interaction is definitely my favorite part as well! I asked for questions and was so pleasantly surprised when people actually responded. It has been one of my favorite things I have ever done. I agree with you, you can say things without being mean and have a discussion. Part of fashion (and life) is that everyone has different opinions. What I don't like is that people think the internet gives them anonymity and the ability to be mean. I have seen this most commonly on big accounts, for example, the few times I have gotten reposed on large IG account people have said some pretty rude things. I don't let it bother me, but I do wonder what makes people think it is okay to say something so rude about a total stranger on the internet??

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that! I can't imagine saying anything rude about you! It can definitely affect your confidence as a style blogger. I feel sympathy for top bloggers who get ridiculed over every little detail of their style, looks, life etc. It is NOT okay to bully a perfect stranger and think that just because you're hiding behind your keyboard that you can say whatever you want to someone.

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  4. Your blog today makes me think of this article I read last night: http://jezebel.com/the-comments-on-jillian-harris-blog-post-about-boss-mom-1794526666. I was appalled by some of the things I read that people were saying to her.

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    1. Yikes, I just read that article and my god are people mean. If I don't like the direction of a blog, I unfollow. I can't imagine being so uppity! There's no need to put someone down, just don't read their blog! Thanks for this Kristi. I had no idea about that site.

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  5. Girl I wish half bloggers out there had your wisdom :) you are still hands down one of my top three bloggers.

    I have posted comments on blogs that have gotten deleted and I'm never rude or spiteful. One instance I remember was a review of a product that I own myself (foundation for dry skin) and the blogger who had reviewed it had said she hated it because she had oily skin. All I said was something like "that sucks but the foundation was geared towards dry skin". And ya my comment got rejected. Mind you had she even read the product description she would have seen it would not work for her. I have also commented on blogs to express disappointment in the way their blog had changed (less unique, all about clicks) without being rude and still comments got deleted.

    So now I follow only bloggers that 1. Interact with their readers (you can never be too cool for your followers). 2. Their ego isn't so fragile that it can be broken comments like I made above 3. Have a unique point of view, no one likes a copy cat

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    1. I love your perspective because you're always so honest! Never rude, just not afraid to express a different opinion. I'm so happy that you enjoy my blog and still stop by here. So many blogs that started around the time we did are long gone. I do think it's hard to relate to a lot of bloggers now because there are so many out there.

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  6. I can definitely appreciate constructive criticism because I think it helps you grow as a blogger and a person! I am like you and with a small blog haven't gotten any harsh words. The only comments I delete are spam!

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    1. I agree! I wish more people had this mindset :) And my spam filter does not work at all lately! I wonder how to fix that?

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  7. Best post I've ever read! You are spot on!

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    1. Thank you Carole, I'm glad you agree! Stop by anytime :)

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  8. I just want to say that I love your personality, so real and pretty inside and out. I'm surprised at how many bloggers get famous and how some like yours stay small but I respect you!

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Thank you for commenting! I read each and every one, and do my best to answer questions or return the favor on your blog. Interaction is my favorite part <3