2.02.2017


Happy February 💗

I know we're all going to be reading a lot of Valentine's Day posts over the next week, and in keeping with the theme of love, I wanted to touch on a subject that has always been near and dear to my heart - self love.

It's no secret that I've struggled with body image. My parents always stressed the "importance" of physical appearance. They taught me that I was essentially nothing if I wasn't pretty. I'm not writing this to put down my parents. They both come from traumatic backgrounds, and mental illness runs in my family so I partly blame their misguided beliefs on what they experienced as children. But growing up, I felt worthless. I would think, "If I'm not pretty, then what good am I?" Kids would tease me, and this question always came up: "So what nationality are you anyway?" I don't know why that bothered me but it did. I'm half Mexican and part English, German, and Scottish. Does that matter? Maybe to some people, but I don't identify with anything because I've felt out of place most of my life.

"People always say you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster or something. Like you can know what it is, even."




Wearing //
H&M tee, similarsimilar
Sole Society heels, similar here & here
Banana Republic bag, lovely option for less!



I've started to unfollow bloggers who cause me to constantly compare myself. It's so easy to do, and to feel like you're in competition when it shouldn't be about that at all. It's not their fault of course, I shouldn't allow people to have so much power over my thinking. But I wish some would be more upfront and honest about things like photoshopping, and brands that they work with (but don't disclose).

If you're constantly complaining about your weight in every post, or if your goal in life is to have the perfect thigh gap, I can't really deal with that type of obsessive behavior. I don't think it's healthy, and more and more I want to promote positive body image on this blog and in my own life (thank you Alissa for inspiring me on this). I may not enjoy kale smoothies or do cardio every day, but when I work out, I do feel like a badass afterward.

Look what our female bodies can do! We have the ability to give life! I know plenty of women who beat themselves up over how their bodies have changed after having children. I like to call it a transformation. We aren't supposed to remain the same throughout life; appearances will change. If you want to fix something because it really affects you, then do it for YOU, not for anyone else or because society dictates you should.  One example I have is getting my hair blown out a couple times per month. Maybe you think that's hypocritical, and that's fine. But it makes me feel better about myself.

Over the weekend I saw my friend dance and perform her heart out alongside some fabulous women.  It once again inspired me to accept my body. I saw all shapes, all sizes, all ages...Those women OWNED it! And really, we all should. It's the one thing that is truly ours.

So, even though it's not Valentine's Day yet, I just wanted to wish you all a happy month filled with less negative self talk and more self love. Encourage the girls and women in your lives to do the same please. It's not easy, I'm sure I'll slip up a lot on here and you can totally call me out when I do. But I will try my best not to.

"It's good to get really dressed up once in a while and admit the truth - that when you really look closely, people are so strange and so complicated that they're actually...beautiful." 

Bonus points for any 90's kids that can tell me in the comments where the quotes I wrote here came from. It is one of my favorite t.v. shows of all time.  It's all SO true.

1.31.2017








Wearing //
Cardigan
Express tank & jeans
Bracelets here, here, & here
Beauty//
Lips in Glo Minerals "Aubergine"



This Winter, we are finally getting some cold temperatures in California and it's been raining frequently. I know our version of "Winter" is quite different than most of yours, but it's a welcomed change around here after five years of severe drought. I love driving around town and seeing green fields in place of tumbleweeds and dirt.

Anyway, I recently stumbled across this shop on Instagram that drew me in with their selection of cozy knits, lace bralettes, and feminine styles. I don't even know how I found it, but I'm glad I did. I was still hesitant to order, but I'm really happy with this cardigan and now I want more! It's definitely over sized, but I prefer it that way. The taupe color and slouchy silhouette is perfect for wrapping myself in. It reminds me of a night spent curled up on the couch, hot tea (or wine) in hand, Nettie on my lap. I love those nights. All of my jewelry is Stella & Dot, and I'm mixing and matching new and old pieces. Sometimes, I just want to wear all the things!


1.26.2017



I've never had a big group of friends. And that's perfectly fine because I've never wanted that. I enjoy plenty of alone time. Some people get their energy from others, some get theirs from being alone. I must have been programmed for the latter, since I'm an only child. I have a difficult time being around large groups. I tend to sink into the background, and become overwhelmed when there are too many conversations going on at once.

They say friends are the family you choose, and I've always done my best to choose wisely. I guess this makes it hard to get to know me. Keeping a safe distance from classmates and co-workers has in some ways hindered me. I've often wondered if people think I'm hiding something, or if I'm just a royal snob ("the truth is, it's not you it's me." No, really though). But in other ways, this predisposition has affirmed my reasoning for cherishing the few friends I do have. Cultivating meaningful relationships takes time and effort, and I'd rather spend my energy on the people who have been there to witness and support me through some of the hardest times in my life. There's a certain intimacy in that, and I crave anything that feels real over the contrived. That's not to say I'm opposed to meeting new people and making new friends. I can get along with almost anybody. I definitely have space in my heart, but I enter into new relationships with caution.



All of my girlfriends are different, but their friendship means the same to me. Most of them have children now, and getting together to catch up isn't as easy as it used to be. It takes a certain amount of planning and consideration, which is honestly not a big deal. During my bout with serious depression last year, I wanted to hide from everybody, including my best friend. I would make excuses for cancelling a get-together, but then would spend hours in bed feeling sick about essentially lying. I felt like a fraud and a failure, a bad person. My fears were irrational, but I let them win every damn time. Isolation is NOT the same as alone time, and the disconnect between my friends and I made me even more depressed. It's a vicious cycle.



Now that I'm in a better place, I look forward to spending time with friends in whatever capacity that allows. Coffee dates, lunches, getting together to BBQ on the weekends...I'll take it! Even making sure to send a text to see how their day is going makes an impact. I'll admit that things have changed since we all got married and started our own families. We've entered into a new stage of friendship, the "new normal" as I like to call it. Life will try to keep us in our respective corners, but it's important to remember that your girlfriends provide you with comfort and advice that spouses simply cannot. There's an unspoken truth that binds us as women, and in some ways as we get older, I think we will need each other more than ever. My mom is a prime example. She is divorced and has no plans of getting remarried. I used to worry sick of something happening to her, but now that she has her best friend living in her home, I can rest assured that at least she has company. I find this to be true with many older women, and it never ceases to amaze me the level of relief that a friend can provide in different stages of life. As much as I love spending most of my time with Nate, I can't forget about making time for the people that were there before him. Don't ever underestimate the power of girlfriends. 💗


1.24.2017








Wearing //
Sweater, similar here & here
Beauty //


I haven't been posting as frequently because honestly? I've been terribly uninspired lately. January is always like this for me. I get excited about new goals for the new year, but I find that when it comes to getting dressed after the glitz and glamour of the holidays, I just want to be as comfortable as possible. Do you ladies feel this way? It's not that I don't love my clothes or have anything to wear. I just don't feel as compelled to get dressed up, so my outfits end up feeling a little too casual or boring to devote to blogging. In an effort to combat this, I go back to the basics. An easy formula: Classic colors + classic pieces = instant outfit. Camel and red is one of my favorites because the combination looks so polished. And nothing is cozier than a soft cable knit sweater. This is my second one and if I could wear them every single day, I would!

I'm also experiencing writer's block so bear with me. It happens to everyone, but mine irritates me to the point where I don't want to get near my computer. I'm hoping this will change quickly as I have a real talk post coming next...