Happy New Year! I'm not sure why it's taken me so long to write my first post of 2019 but I'm back today with a little reflection on the year that was. I almost jumped right into discussing my intentions for 2019, but I always like to wrap up the last year here so I can get some closure and move forward.

2018 was actually a good year for me. I was able to curtail my spending, I enjoyed more time outdoors, I made my health a priority, and I took a fun trip to Mexico with my best friend. But in the interest of being completely honest and transparent with you guys, it was also very inconsistent. Meaning, I was very inconsistent. I think I made some headway in managing my anxiety and depression, but it was more of me just pasting a smile on my face and trying to will myself into contentment. In reality, I spent a lot of time ruminating and I went back and forth from being social and having a full calendar to feeling utterly alone and isolated. As usual, I did it to myself. I'd have weeks where I felt great, and then my mood would completely shift and I'd have weeks where I wouldn't even want to leave the house. I would tackle a goal, but then retreat and feel like a total failure. I did this in so many areas of my life. Exercise, school, even blogging.

 If I could sum up 2018 in one word (as is the popular thing to do right now), inconsistent would be my word...

Sometimes, positive thinking can actually do more harm than good if you're not addressing an issue. Because although my attitude in general was much more positive in 2018, there were still negative thoughts brewing underneath the happy platitudes, and really I just tried to conceal them rather than overcome them. Fake it til you make it! It sounds great and all, but after awhile I just felt like I was faking everything. It became exhausting at times, and that's when I would withdraw. There were events I missed, appointments I canceled. I blogged less and tried my best to disconnect from social media. I sometimes wondered if I should stop blogging altogether, but I've always enjoyed it and I think I'd feel a void if I quit. So I'm still here! 

I'll discuss my outlook on 2019 in my next post, but I don't have ANY expectations as of now. The best parts of last year came from unexpected plans, spontaneous little adventures, and spending quality time with the people (and four-legged friends) that I love and I just want to continue to do more of that. 

Seeing these beautiful ladies over the holidays was most definitely a highlight of 2018. I wish we all lived closer so we could get together more often! We all met for dinner at Rustic Root in downtown San Diego and then went to a bar across the street. How fabulous do they look?!

So tell me, if you could sum up your 2018 in a word or phrase...what would yours be?


  1. Aw, my sweet friend. Your honesty is so refreshing and endearing. I'm sorry that 2018 was a challenge for you in so many ways, but also glad to hear there were some highlights! You do really look beautiful in this outfit and it was SO fun to spend time with you last month. Looking forward to doing a little more of that in 2019!!

  2. It's almost impossible to be ON all the time, I think life is inconsistent there's time we are on our A game but sometimes we just aren't. So don't be too hard on yourself for that. Meeting up with you guys was one of my 2018 highlights. You all have amazing energy. Take care of yourself Noelle, wishing all the best for 2019.


  3. I think you are really being too hard on yourself! Didn't you go off some medication you had been taking last year? That is a lot to deal with and isn't going to come easily! I really hope that 2019 is all that you want it to be! By the way, I adore your outfit! Those leather leggings are really cute with your cardigan!

  4. Noelle, I know just how you feel. It's so hard to have those feelings of anxiety and sadness and feel guilty if you aren't putting on a good face, being there for your friends and being social. I wish faking it worked, but I don't think I've had much luck with that yet. I hope you can build on all the progress you've made and make 2019 a really fabulous year.
    Chic on the Cheap


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