4.02.2020

I know our daily lives aren't exactly the same during this quarantine. It's vital that we come together in solidarity and do our best to flatten the curve, but we all have varying degrees of responsibility and pressure. My days don't involve distance learning, tending to an infant, or managing a company with employees. So while the things I'm doing to cope with our current time is helping me get through my days, I don't want to be patronizing to those of you with much larger responsibilities and less free time. I do however hope you can use at least one of these! They aren't terribly unique, but they're alleviating some stress. Just a few minutes a day to decompress can do wonders.



Candles: I'm a huge fan of lighting candles, now more than ever. Their soft glow provides tranquility, and the scent either boosts or relaxes my mood. I don't hoard them, but I do normally have two or three on hand. This candle has been in our coffee table drawer for months, and I just began burning it again. Bonus that it's lavender scented!

Lavender: Speaking of lavender, I also have a small batch of dried lavender that i like to keep on my vanity or nightstand. When I need a dose of calm, I take a deep breath and inhale the scent. Some people don't care for the smell, but I've always been a huge believer in its calming properties. I also have a vial of essential lavender oil that I put on my wrist at night. Pillow sprays, soaps, and perfumes are all great to have on hand.

Face creams/treatments/serums: I've been keeping my creams in the fridge and using them at night before bed. The cooling sensation is amazing, and it instantly relaxes me. I also have a facial roller that I've been using and it feels so good in the moment. I've even been using it down my neck to ease tension.

Tea: I love tea, but I'm definitely drinking it more often now. I haven't had coffee in two weeks! My blood pressure has been high (undoubtedly because of anxiety) so I'm mitigating that by not having any caffeine and am also greatly limiting my alcohol intake. As much as I love a cocktail or glass of wine, drinking regularly makes anxiety worse. I love lemon balm tea, so I have a cup before bedtime. Any caffeine-free tea is helpful, or teas that boost your immune system.

Being creative: Arts and crafts, drawing, sewing, writing, painting, reading...you name it! Some of my friends are doing crafts with their kids, some are doing puzzles. My dear friend started a bible study that I'm included in. All of these things allow us to channel our energy into something positive. Besides, you never know! You may discover a new talent or passion.

Did I miss something that I could add to my coping list? What are you doing to ease stress during quarantine?

3.30.2020

I didn't intend to go a whole week without saying hello. Every time I sat down to write a post, I couldn't find the right words much less string together complete sentences. I've always enjoyed writing, but it's been so difficult to do lately.

I know we are all struggling in this current coronavirus pandemic. Every aspect of life has changed overnight, and there's no real endpoint yet. Uncertainty, stress, restlessness, isolation. As I sit here looking out the window of my little office, the sunlight streaming in, I can only imagine what others are going through. I've talked to some friends that are handling it pretty well and taking things day by day, others are not. I guess I'd fall under the category of "not." I'm not okay. There, I said it. My panic attacks are back like never before.

Let me just say though that I'm not telling you this to gain sympathy. I'm not on the front lines like health care professionals, delivery drivers, postal workers, grocery store clerks, pharmacists, and others who are still required to be out in the field. I'm eternally grateful to these everyday heroes. Parents are also included.  They are working harder than ever before to meet the demands of homeschooling, daycare, and working from home on top of everything else.

I've wasted the last couple years feeling lost, weighed down by petty thoughts, bouts of depression and feeling sorry for myself, doubting my choices, and really just existing instead of truly being present. I've been asleep at the wheel, and this crisis has jolted me awake. Yes there's been a lot of happy moments - 2019 was a fun year for us. Trips to different states, parties and celebrations with friends, tiny sparks of light during my down days. But in general, I have neglected so many things that have needed my attention.

*Spending most afternoons in my loft. It's coming along*

I'm not sure I've written about this before, but I suffered from debilitating panic attacks as a kid. No one is entirely sure what prompted them, but it was incredibly frightening to be so young and not know what was happening to me. The anxiety started in preschool. Screaming for my mother to not leave me at school is my earliest memory. My parents did what they could, but they had no idea what was wrong with their only child and neither did anyone else, even doctors. I began seeing a therapist in grade school, and that took me on a path of relief so that I could try my best to just be a normal kid. It was a roller coaster from there on, but the panic attacks subsided once I approached high school. I had other things on my mind then.

Panic attacks, health anxiety (hypochondria), vivid nightmares, and financial worries have all taken up space in my head. I should have seen it coming, I should have known that I was headed on a spiral. I was naive and thought I could control it. I would just laugh my way through this, reconnect with family, do Facetime calls with friends over a drink, spend quality time with Nate. Don't get me wrong, I have and still am doing all these things and I'm very grateful for modern technology, modern medicine, all of it. I'm thankful for the roof over my head, food in my fridge (although I've lost 6 pounds in a week because I can barely eat), a loving partner that is doing all he possibly can to console me. Some days it feels like I'm a child again, helpless in so many ways, and he's the only parent. It's so frustrating. I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I've worked with other children to help them cope with their fears and anxieties and now I've become the client that needs help.

Fortunately, I've been in recent contact with my therapist and she provided me with some tools I can utilize. They include:

1) Stick to a semi-normal schedule. Try to wake up at the same time each day and go to bed at the same time every night.

2) Get 30 minutes of exercise daily. If you can get outside for a few minutes that's ideal.

3) Connect with others as often as possible, but DO NOT let this virus be the main talking point of conversation. Talk about future plans, something you're looking forward to after this is over, share funny stories, laugh together.

4) Limit all news and social media. Twitter was what triggered me last week. I deleted it off my phone a few days ago. This was hard for me because I want to be informed, and of course we should be. But getting minute by minute updates and reading some of the petty bullshit that is Twitter-verse is unhelpful for people with mental health issues. It only aggravates them.

5) During a panic attack, use your 5 senses: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste. Also: take a pen and paper and write out all the things you can think of under a particular category. For example, 90's television shows, go! List all you can think of. Pick any category that comes to mind immediately. Distraction is key when you're really in the irrationality of a panic attack. I picture myself with a sword, slaying mine.


I'm going to do a phone call with her once a week, so if I can relay anymore tips to you I will in upcoming posts.

I don't want to focus my entire blog on this pandemic, and I don't want to trigger any of your own anxieties by talking so much about mine. Although it helps to talk about them and read about what other people are going through, I also appreciate a break from it all. My next couple posts won't be so serious, I promise! But please don't hesitate to reach out to me or anyone else in your life to help alleviate some of these horrible thoughts and emotions. Your health and mental health matter more now than ever. Sending you my love. 

3.19.2020

This outfit was photographed about two weeks ago, the last time I really put myself together and enjoyed a night out. I was so excited to show you one of my favorite Spring trends, a versatile take on a kimono-style dress that can also be worn open. I wear kimonos a lot in Summer with simple tanks and camisoles, so the option of wearing one as a dress is just perfect. In this way, it actually looks quite polished, sort of a fun take on a shirtdress. But it can also be dressed way down. Picture it over a bathing suit - I definitely plan on wearing it as a coverup over a black bikini.


I love the neutral print, and the draped sleeves are really flattering. Now that I think of it, I'll wear it again this weekend over some black leggings since that seems to be my outfit of choice for the foreseeable future. Like all of you (I hope), I've been doing what I can to occupy myself at home:

1. Streaming podcasts, shows, movies, audiobooks and music. Music has been on practially 24/7 around here. Mostly alternative rock or classic rock.
2. Cooking and cleaning. I'm on phase one of getting the house scrubbed down but I really need to declutter next!
3. Facetiming with friends and family. I'm reaching out to people I haven't spoken to in months.
4. Reading and journaling. This moment is one for the history books, so making notes on what's going on may prove to be valuable one day.
5. Giving myself a much-needed manicure, face mask, and hair conditioning treatment. It's the little things that allow for some normalcy.
6. Still working at the shop and praying our small business can survive this.
7. We have a few house projects in mind, especially our backyard that is covered in weeds!
8. We plan on taking a long drive down the coast this weekend to get some fresh air, obviously being mindful of staying far away from others if we get out to stretch our legs. A walk along the shore sounds amazing but we'll see.

I was really hoping to hear from you earlier in the week after my last post, but it's been crickets. I totally understand though. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing for an audience of one, but I'm okay with that. I have to be. This blog was born out of a need for sanity, and it will continue to serve that purpose regardless of who stops by or not...although I really would love to hear from you! This would be a great time to build up our little online blogging community again. That's my vision anyway.

I hope you're all taking care.

3.16.2020

There have been many times in my blogging journey where I have felt foolish for posting about frivilous things, but nothing compares to what it feels like now. Affiliate links, photos of myself against the backdrop of my town's wineries, reviewing expensive beauty products...it all just seems completely ridiculous at a time when entire countries are on lockdown and here in the U.S. we are being encouraged to stay home and distance ourselves from one another. Covid-19 has its firm grasp on the world.

It's a pretty scary time, isn't it? I'm not in panic mode, but I've always been afraid of this exact scenario and now that it's a reality, I want to do everything I can to stay healthy, positive, and help flatten the curve. Schools are closed in my area, events have been canceled/postponed indefinitely, and this really isn't something we've experienced in our lifetimes.

Photo taken in 2018

I posted this on Instagram:
"We are heeding expert advice and staying home for the foreseeable future. We still have to go to the shop to work, but luckily it's very close to home and we don't currently employ others. I know some people think I'm overreacting, but I'd rather overreact than not. It's just my nature. Sending love to you all and praying for this to pass as quickly as possible."

I do hope people listen to the health experts and are taking every precaution necessary, if not for their own sake then especially for their loved ones. There are so many unknowns in regards to this virus, so why risk it? Parts of the world, Italy in particular, are in the thick of devastating and unspeakable heartbreak, and it's almost impossible for me to wrap my head around it. A virus isn't war, but it sure feels like it.

I'll still continue to blog, although I'll be honest and admit that the words and ideas are not coming easily. I just hope this space provides some levity and distraction from all that is happening. Please feel free to comment on my posts or email me if you'd like to talk about anything and everything! I'm here. We will overcome.

I'll leave you with this today. I read it on social media and felt compelled to pass it along to put things into perspective:
"May we who are merely inconvenienced remember those whose lives are at stake.
 May we who have no risk factors remember those most vulnerable.
 May we who have the luxury of working from home remember those who must choose between preserving their health or making their rent.
May we who have the flexibility to care for our children when their schools close remember those who have no options.
May we who have to cancel our trips remember those that have no place to go.
May we who are losing our margin money in the tumult of the economic market remember those who have no margin at all.
May we who settle in for a quarantine at home remember those who have no home."

 Sending all of my love to each and every one of you.

3.10.2020

My favorite time to shop is in the early stages of Spring. I love the feminine silhouettes and prints, especially floral. There's just something so fun about putting on a flirty little dress and a great pair of heels. It's been awhile since I got all dressed up (with seemingly nowhere to go), but Nate's been working at the shop non-stop and when he wanted to take me out, I happily obliged! There's no time like the present.


 I hesitated showing it to you guys again, but this dress is still available in case any of you are looking for a pretty Spring outfit. I later put a denim jacket over it and I'm sorry I didn't take more photos. Layering is just another way to show how versatile dresses can be when transitioning to a new warmer season. 
For what it's worth, I first heard of Red Dress on Instagram, as they seem to collaborate with a lot of popular bloggers. I'm usually leery of trying clothes from smaller online boutiques because fit is often hit or miss. But their selection of dresses is amazing, so I went ahead and got my usual size and thankfully it worked out! I wouldn't hesitate to buy something else. As for the heels, these are still my favorite! I don't wear heels nearly as often as I used to, but I still think a classic pair of suede pumps is a wardrobe staple. You never know when an occasion might call for them. 

How are you all doing? I've been managing a crazy migraine off and on for the better part of a week, thus my lack of posting. I hope you're all staying healthy 💋

Linking up with Laura from I Do deClaire

3.03.2020

"Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace."

First and foremost, happy March! Spring is right around the corner and I know everyone is looking forward to the change. It's been a pretty cold and gloomy day here so while I'm currently covered up in a blanket, you can expect upcoming posts to feature fresh flowers and airy dresses. 

February passed quickly, as it usually does. I still couldn't completely shake the blues, but I tried my best to channel all that negative energy into gratitude and by the end of the month, I was feeling much better. Thank you guys for your support and feedback on my Valentine's Day post. Being honest about my struggles is so cathartic, and it seems like it has helped some of you as well. At least, that's my hope. 

Not everything in February was good, but it was the little things that made me happy...

I treated myself to some gorgeous fresh flowers, courtesy of Trader Joe's. Tip: Buy yourself some flowers during a bad day or week. It will instantly lift your mood.


Decorated my home office. Most of our house has a relaxed coastal/beach vibe, but I wanted my little office space to reflect my love for Palm Springs and the desert. I purchased the items below, and have a large leaning floor mirror being delivered shortly. I'm adding little touches slowly, but I can't wait until it's all completed.



I'm beginning to transition my (California) Winter wardrobe into Spring. I'll talk more about how in the coming weeks, but really it's all about making small changes that include shoes, bags, and accessories. Details make the difference!

Drank nitro cold brew from Starbucks on repeat. Have you tried it? I just get the regular nitro cold brew with sweet cream and it's the perfect flavor!


Contemplating watching the Netflix series Love is Blind. My sister-in-law told me about it a couple weeks ago and now I'm seeing it mentioned everywhere. I think I'll try an episode this week.


How was your February? Do you have any trips or big plans for Spring?