5.28.2020

"The only way out is through"

We are almost in June, and while the weather heats up and the start of Summer begins to take shape, many counties in California are also beginning to reopen. Our lockdown became official on March 19th, but the last time I went out on a normal day was on March 11th. That date will always stick out in my head. I wasn't in full panic mode yet, but I knew something unprecedented was about to happen. 

Three months have gone by for me both at rapid speed and at a painful crawl. I've had days filled with crippling fear and sadness, and I've had days of pure happiness and personal growth. Like everything in life, you can't have one without the other. As restaurants, stores, and even salons start to reopen in many parts of the state, I feel somewhat relieved. My friends can regain some financial control again, people can get services that they desperately missed. I'm also still really nervous about the virus. I'm not sure why it's become political, but I have no desire to participate in any of that because there's still so much that's unknown.  I mean, whatever happened to nuance? You can hold different thoughts and emotions at once - excitement that businesses are reopening, but anxiety of venturing out yourself. It seems that people will continue to get sick no matter what we do, and that knowledge is maddening. With that being said, I'm still going to be extremely cautious in my measures and if I feel uneasy, I'll listen to that voice in my head.  Everyone is still encouraged to socially distance and wear masks whenever possible, and I'm comfortable doing both for as long as needed. 

Ultimately I know that every state (and country for that matter) is different though. Just a few short weeks ago I thought California would be on lockdown all of Summer, and just like that in the blink of an eye, I can now go get my hair cut. So while I have no idea what the Summer will hold, my hope is that this next phase will be a little less scary than the last. But really, who knows? 

Has your area begun to reopen? I'd love to read any thoughts you may have on this, both good and bad. 

In the meantime, May has been quite the beautiful month. 

Nate and I packed a nice lunch and took Nettie to the park. It was also the first park we took her to as a puppy. There was no one around, which actually isn't unusual for the area. She got the chance to run around and we chased each other through the sprinklers. 

I ordered my first Homesick candle in the Hawaii scent and have been burning it every night since. It's less tropical than I expected, but the fragrance really fills the room and definitely reminds me of my favorite place. I really miss my godfather...I've mentioned it before but he lives on the island of Maui in Kihei. He's like a father to me and I can't wait to see him in person again. 

I'm still following my nutrition plan, and have even lost a few pounds in the process. Last weekend, I made a quick and easy breakfast wrap with spinach, grape tomatoes, eggs, and feta. I also added some pesto to the wrap itself. 

We watched Waco on Netflix. I was pretty young when that terrible situation played out on national television and I'm happy about that. It's hard to watch, but also one that's impossible not to. 

I started reading a book called Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb. I'm halfway through and not only is it written in such a funny, conversational way, it's also adding a lot to my own therapy sessions. 

How was your month? Is there anything you're looking forward to in June? 

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