The Monthly Edit // Apr. '20

"Quiet the mind and the soul will speak."

- Buddha

I took a drive on Wednesday morning through the wineries. I woke up to a glorious blue sky with painted clouds, took one look at my car keys sitting on the kitchen counter, grabbed a very excited Nettie, and made a beeline for the door. I needed to clear my head, and what better way to to do that than by driving through the valley with all the windows down on a sunny day.

The warm air smelled of jasmine and orange blossoms. After the rain we had at the beginning of the month, the barren vineyards had transformed into a sea of lush emerald green. I turned the radio up, laughed at Nettie's lips flapping in the wind as she stuck her head out the window, and let out a huge breath that I had been holding for what felt like weeks. The beginning of April dragged on, but the ending was exactly what I needed. 

Fazeli & Robert Renzoni Winery

We watched one of our favorite shows on televison, Ozark. We only allowed ourselves two episodes per night, but the season went so quickly and was so gripping that we felt kind of depressed once it was over. If you haven't watched the series, you must! Just make sure you start at season 1. Other notable shows included "How to Fix a Drug Scandal" which I highly recommend, and The Housewives of New York City and Beverly Hills. I like watching The Housewives back to back with a glass of wine in hand. Say what you will about reality shows, but they offer a fun break from actual reality.

A few of my favorite people have May birthdays, so I searched Etsy for personalized meaningful gifts. I can't be with them physically this year, but that doesn't mean I can't still wish them a happy birthday! Plus, I'm all about supporting small shops and businesses now.


A family member who is licensed in the practice of mindfulness started a Zoom workshop, and I'm learning so much already. The class is once a week for two hours, and along with therapy sessions, it is really teaching me how to be present in my own life. We as humans have over 60,000 thoughts per day, and much of those days are lived on autopilot. No wonder we are anxious, distracted, and overwhelmed.

It's been pretty warm the last couple weeks (dare I say hot) so I ditched my joggers and long sleeve shirts for shorts, camisoles, and kimonos. I really only dressed up a bit for Zoom calls and virtual happy hours, but it was a nice excuse!

Nate and I spent last weekend cleaning up our backyard. It was overgrown with weeds. We have rented this house for a few years, and although there are many things we aren't allowed to change about it, we do what we can to keep things nice and make it feel like home. We really want to buy our own home, but with everything going on now, we will have to wait longer than we expected.

Happy May! I hope everyone is going to have a great month. Summer is near...

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More Than Enough

I've been thinking a lot about blogging, social media, consumerism, and self-worth in the age of a global pandemic. I hesitate in writing this, but I think I just need to get it out of my system so please bear with me.

I've been blogging for over a decade now, and I've mostly enjoyed every aspect of it. It has provided me with confidence, formed some wonderful friendships, and has pushed me to pull myself together during periods in my life of great anxiety, uncertainty, and depression. It's enhanced my life in ways I never imagined. There was something really special about it. But as the game of blogging and what that really entails has changed, so has my attitude towards much of it.

Social Media
First, there's the social media aspect. Don't get me wrong, there are wonderful connections in our lives because of it. There are genuine benefits that come along with using it, especially if you're a small business and want to get your name out there. I post, interact, and scroll through my feed as happily as anyone else does. But I also feel deeply that it's contributed to mental health problems, and that's really hard to scroll past. How can you ignore it? Sometimes it just seems like a constant barrage of photoshopping, mass consumption, oversharing otherwise private moments, inflated egos, narcissism, the glorification of eating disorders and unhealthy habits...the list goes on. I'm not trying to judge or pearl-clutch, I'm just concerned about the effects it can lead to especially for kids and teens. Obviously I don't have any answers. That's the frustrating part.

I also contribute to it. I filter my photos, not heavily, but I do it. I use affiliate links to make a small commission. I belong to a platform that helps people shop for clothes, beauty products, home furnishings, kitchen gadgets, cleaning products, whatever. I use it myself, and for the most part, I enjoy it. But I also feel conflicted, now more than ever. I've always tried to be careful in what I share and promote - only things that I buy (or would buy in the rare instance it's a sponsored post) and use myself. When I see other people being careless with their platforms, I think it shows and it makes it harder for people to trust bloggers and influencers. I hate that word. I'll admit I've made mistakes in this area in the past, but I've learned from them.

I also hate that we are collectively being told everyday that we need certain things in order to lead our lives. Or that we have to improve this or that in order to do so. "This (insert product) changed my life! You need this too!" Yeah, okay.

Consumerism & Self-Worth
Instead of telling you what you absolutely, positively have to have, I just wanted to remind you that's false. that you're strong, kind, capable, loving, hilarious, and uniquely beautiful just as you are, or as you see fit. There are so many actions you are told to take every waking hour, all in the hopes of...what exactly? A better life, a happier you? How about just being. How about acceptance.

You don't necessarily:

 need an expensive eye cream, although I did just pay an exorbitant amount for one.

have to try a crazy new workout routine or cleanse, unless it's recommended by your doctor of course.

 need 20 products to prevent the inevitable signs of aging; we are blessed if we live a long life.

have to buy the dress I'm wearing on my blog. I mean I don't mind if you do, but I want to show you that style isn't related to a specific item I feature.

need to pretend you're happy all the time, or crazy witty, or that you've got all your shit together. Everyone's winging it.

Don't need to create inspirational content on Instagram in order to inspire others with a photo of a place you visited, or a memory you created with a friend. Why not post "just because?'


Or, if you do want to try these things or set new goals or whatever else you want to accomplish than do that! But do it on your own terms, without pressure or worry.  When I feature products I've purchased, when I recap my beauty routines, or when I post links to my clothes, I hope you understand that I truly don't expect you to buy them. A lot of bloggers I admire, respect, and read regularly have made a living doing this and I hope that if they read this, that they don't misunderstand me. I'm not pointing fingers or saying that selling items to their readers is bad. I have purchased many things over the years through their links, most of which I never would have found on my own. I love being able to do that, as well as having the choice in supporting them! I just know that none of us really needs anything - aside from the people we love, the air that we breathe, and knowing that we are each more than enough.

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California Love

I've recently come across some absolutely beautiful sentiments from writers who are aching for their communities, cities, and states during the coronavirus pandemic. Krystal from This Time Tomorrow dedicated a post to New York City, and as tears welled up in my eyes from her poignant words, I knew that I wanted to do the same for the state I call home. Having been born in Los Angeles, and my dad's side of the family having deep roots in the San Fernando valley, I know that I've taken this place for granted. It's easy to do. You become spoiled. You get caught up in your everyday life and you forget how good you have it. The palm trees, the ocean, the sunsets - they all become routine and fade away into the background.

My mom and I moved to a small town called Temecula in 1988. L.A. with all of its hustle, bustle, and traffic had become too much for her, and she wanted to raise me in the simplicity of a quiet neighborhood. My dad stayed behind working in Reseda, but he drove down every weekend to see us. I remember that drive. Back then, it only took an hour and a half to make your way down the valley through parts of Orange County, and then you'd start seeing more greenery, less cars and people. Finally, there was Temecula cascading into sight. 108 miles separated us, but it felt like worlds apart.

I didn't leave much when I was growing up. I went back and forth between L.A. and Temecula, but it wasn't until my late teens that I really started exploring California and all it has to offer. And it has so much to offer...


The Pacific Ocean: my sanctuary when life feels too blurry or confusing. One deep breath of salty air and it gives me the courage to keep paddling, a not-so-subtle reminder that "sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true direction." Whether it's calm or choppy, low or high tide, it is constantly shifting.

Big Sur, California

Carlsbad, California

The Mountains: a welcome escape, especially during warm California Winters when you crave some snow like the rest of the country. The winding roads lead off into little secert lookouts and hideaways, each one more scenic than the last. Finally when you get to the top, snow and ice covering the pines below, you realize just how far you have come.

Big Bear, California

The Desert: my husband's personal favorite, so much so that he turned his inspiration for it into a business. So many people love getting away and riding their dirt bikes and off-road vehicles along the sandy, rocky hilltops. I mostly like to watch, being the risk-averse person that I am. But they say "the desert is truth, life pared down to the bone."

Ocotillo Wells, California

The Valley: those hidden gems, tucked between hillsides and mountain ranges. I've been up to Paso Robles, a beautiful place with even better wineries. I have yet to go to famous Napa, probably first on my next "must-see" list. But Temecula is where I was raised. It's familiar, it's the comfort of knowing someone or something so well. And now as an adult, I can appreciate its imperfect beauty while sipping on my favorite local wine. 

Temecula, California

Everything In-Between: From San Francisco to Pismo Beach, Santa Barbara to Laguna, I can absolutely vouch for the special qualities that make each area of this large state so unique. I haven't been all the way up north since 2014, but I can't wait to go on another long road trip and explore even more. Each time, there is something new to see or a detail you missed before.

Palm Springs, California

Long Beach, California

San Diego, California

Dear Cali,
From the mountains to the sea, I'm in love with your vast diverse beauty, and the 40 million people who also call you home undoubtedly agree. I've thought about leaving, what it would be like to live somewhere else, but we both know I could never leave you. There's a reason why travelers come from all over the world just to get a glimpse of you. Some never leave, holding on to a hope that you will help make their wildest dreams come true. You are one of a kind, California. And you have my whole heart.
Sincerely,
A California girl

I cannot wait to get back to the places I know and love most, in a state that has shaped me into who I am.

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Flattering Dress Silhouettes for Petites

Like many of you, I'm growing tired of leggings and sweat pants day in and day out. Spring is my favorite season to dress for, but obviously with the current public health pandemic, everything has been put on hold. In the spirit of Spring, I wanted to put together a quick round-up on the dress silhouettes I find most flattering for petite women. We should all wear what makes us feel confident and beautiful, but there are some definite styles that work especially well on ladies 5'4 and under.


#1 Fit and Flare: This is my most worn silhouette, and the one I personally feel the most comfortable wearing. It emphasizes the upper body, creates the illusion of a smaller waist, and then skims away from the lower body like an hourglass. It's an ultra feminine look that is universally flattering no matter your body type.

#2 Midi: This particular silhouette used to scare me away because it does seem antithetical to elongating a shorter frame. However, I actually love midi styles on petite women! I often hear petites saying that they can't wear a midi or maxi dress because it makes them appear even shorter, but there are a few details to keep in mind. First, I favor one in a solid color as opposed to a busy print. Second, although they are whimsical and gorgeous, I prefer midis that don't have big ruffles, long sleeves, or excessive amounts of extra fabric. Last, I love layering a shorter jacket on top that breaks up the proportions a bit.

#3 Wrap or Faux Wrap: Similar to a fit and flare style, wrap or faux wrap dresses are universally flattering because they create an hourglass shape. They drape nicely over the body and cinch in the waist, so they are perfectly slimming. A V-neckline also adds to the effect. Whether you're curvy or straight, this style will make you look and feel polished.

#4 BodyCon: I'm curvy on the lower half, so my instinct is to steer clear from anything form fitting. However, I was pleasantly surprised a couple years ago when I discovered this now blogger favorite bodycon dress. The ruching throughout the waist helps conceal a not-so-flat stomach while also cinching the waist at its smallest area. The tulip hem comes to right above the knees, elongating the legs. I love wearing mine with a light, airy kimono during the Summer months. If you're curvy, this can still feel like a tricky style to pull off, but hey. There's nothing wrong with flaunting those curves! And if you'd like the illusion of extra curves, this style helps to do just that.

I have no idea when things will get back to normal, but I'll be wearing all of these dresses no matter what! What are your go-to dresses? I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

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My Low Maintenance Hair Routine

When it comes to hair, I'm all about low maintenance. It's not necessarily because I don't have the time or desire to do more, it's because I don't have the patience. Like all of my beauty routines, I prefer a simple, more natural style. I want to enhance what I like, conceal what I don't, and above all I want to look and feel my best. Beauty doesn't have to be complicated - in fact, it really shouldn't be.

A hair routine does involve some trial and error. It's taken me years to figure out what types of products I like, what I'm willing to budget for, areas where I can cut costs and corners, and a hair stylist that really knows my preferences. It wasn't always this easy; I've tried so many different brands both from the drugstore and higher end. You have to figure out what you're really aiming for and you have to be realistic. I'm a naturally dark brunette, so going platinum blonde or even a honey blonde just isn't in the cards for me. I could try, but I'd ruin my hair and that's the last thing I'd want! So I stick with my brown locks, try my best to work with my natural wavy, frizzy texture and I focus on adding lots of moisture and shine. I do have some lighter balayage at the crown, but I do very little color treating and am planning on going a bit darker again. I also trim my hair every few weeks to get rid of any dead ends. I had to cancel my appointment right before the quarantine began so it's not in the best shape at the moment! Once it's safer to leave home, I'm hoping to get in to see my stylist for a refresh.

Until then, this is my low fuss routine. It won't work for everyone or every hair type, but I hope some of you find the tips useful.

My hair type: each strand is fine, but I have a lot of it. It is naturally wavy and very frizz prone.

1) Shampoo every three days or twice per week. 
I currently use a shampoo called Clear but I believe it's being totally discontinued. I used to buy it at the drugstore, but can barely find it online. Are any of you familiar with it? Heidi Klum was the spokesperson ages ago. The idea is that good hair begins at the scalp and I am a huge advocate for that. My scalp tends to get very dry, so I focus on its health every time I wash. Unfortunately I also have oily hair, so that's a winning combination. Shampooing every three days seems to be the lucky number for me.

2) Use a scalp scrub or mask twice a month.
I've written about this scalp therapy here, and I've noticed a difference. My scalp is less itchy, less flaking occurs, and less congested. Remember, your scalp is still skin! It can get clogged and irritated just as your face can.

3) Deep condition once a week. 
A nourishing deep conditioning treatment is vital to maintaining healthy hair. I usually leave mine on while I shave and cleanse my body so it can really work its magic...the longer it stays on the better. I also use an overnight mask when my ends are especially brittle, then wash and rinse it out the following day.

4) Air dry when possible. Otherwise, limit heat styling.
Now that many of us are staying home, why not give the heat styling a rest? I've completely taken a break from straightening and curling. I can't quite give up the blow dryer, but I use a low heat setting and then seal the ends with a blast from the cool button.

5) Don't overdo dry shampoo.
It's tempting to slap on the dry shampoo when you want an extra day to avoid washing it, but dry shampoos cause so much buildup. My hair stylist has told me some truly disgusting horror stories! I won't share here, but let's just say she's seen an increase in awful scalp issues over the last couple years because dry shampoo has skyrocketed in popularity. Now there's nothing wrong with it per se and we all want to simplify our daily hair routines by washing it less. Just be careful of how frequently and how much you're using.

6) Limit the amount of styling products you use. 
Less is more. Piling on different products to achieve certain results seems like a great idea, but it all can end up doing more harm than good. I know that my hair looks weighed down very easily, so I use a leave-in conditioner while my hair is damp, then follow up with an anti-humidity/shine spray once it's all dry. You really don't need more than two or three products max, and a little goes a long way. It also cuts down on cost. I can't afford to be buying Oribe or Ouai every other month.


What's your daily or weekly hair routine? Do you like to experiment with yours, or are you low maintenance? If you're someone who loves playing with trends and color, how do you care for your hair? I could talk about it all day!

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Cozy Stay at Home Style

*Quick editor's note: I will not be using affiliate links for the next month or so. I personally am not concerned with shopping for unnecessary items during a crisis, and I'm sure most of you aren't either. Besides, I suspect you already own similar things! I will still list where they came from, but for now I'm taking a pause. Things will go back to normal with regular links after this extended period.

I'm usually very particular about the clothing I feature on my blog. I can't explain why, because what you see here is what you'll see if you know me in real life too (although a little editing helps). I just try to be thoughtful about my choices so that I can hopefully provide you with ideas you can incorporate into your own wardrobe. I love mixing brands, showing you ways to style everyday basics, and featuring pieces that are polished, fun, and flattering. So when I think of dressing to either lounge around in or work from home, that's just not something I'm familiar sharing with you! To me, indoor or home outfits equal comfort. Home has always been my sanctuary, the one place where I can be totally relaxed and myself. I don't worry about wearing lots of makeup, doing my hair everyday or putting on jewelry. I used to consider it freeing! But after being at home for several days and weeks during California's mandatory shelter in place order, I'll admit that I can't wait to put on a dress and heels again. I'll never take it for granted.

In the meantime, these are the type of outfits I'm living in. I would say lately, but we have no clear idea how long remaining at home will last. All of these looks are extremely comfortable, cozy, and dare I say...appropriate for Zoom meetings and FaceTime? At least two are!

Nectar Clothing striped top, LOFT belted knit wrap, Hue leggings

Express one eleven tee, Old Navy joggers

Barefoot Dreams cardigan, Revolve camisole, Hue leggings

Beauty:
Since I was in desperate need of a pedicure last week, I dug back into my favorite Spring nail polishes and picked a cheerful, happy pink. This color is by Essie and it's called "Cascade Cool." I don't have any top coat at the moment, but a quick spray of this rapid dry solution did the trick and even added some shine. My friend Kristi kindly sent it to me all the way from Oregon a couple years back, but because I was so addicted to gels, it was neglected until now! Honestly, anything bright and pink is what I'm reaching for beauty-wise this month. Pink nails, pink blush, and of course a pink pout. I bought this Charlotte Tilbury gloss at the end of February and it's all I've worn since. It's in the shade "Pillow Talk." I'm such a fan of this color as it's incredibly wearable.

I've long believed that style is an extension of who you are, a way to send a message to the outside world. In times like these when we are so isolated, it can often feel pointless or even wrong to bother. Some days, I don't bother. But on the days when I do, there's this little inkling of hope that sometime soon I can once again express myself in the way that makes me happiest - back in a flowy dress against the backdrop of my favorite wineries in town.

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